For various reasons, life has been challenging lately. There are uncontrollable external factors that of course lead to introspection about the meaning and purpose of life and the inevitable question of ‘who am I?’ In between, there’s God poking at me to figure out my relationship with him. Many days I want to say ‘quit it’ and let me just get back to wallowing in bitterness and self-pity. Instead, God just shoves harder.
It was the perfect confluence of events that led me to this book. It was a bad day and things seemed to be going from bad to worse. I’m not an overtly angry person; I’m more of a seethe inside kind of person. I fume on the inside until it goes away or I write angry letters that will never be sent. This particular day I was seething and looking for distraction when I walked into Barnes & Noble. I browsed without really seeing titles, just wandering around trying to make sense of my life. Then I felt a shove and the first title I noticed was Angry Conversations with God – a snarky but authentic spiritual memoir. Of course!
The back page quotes imply that this is a funny book by multiple reviewers and while it is, it is not laugh out loud funny. Instead it is angry and biting as Ms. Isaacs really wants to know why god doesn’t show up when she wants him to? The memoir goes back from when she was bullied as a little girl to her heartbreak when her almost-fiancée unexpectedly ends their relationship. In order to answer this question, Ms. Isaacs works with a pastor turned therapist who moderates her angry conversations with god and Jesus. She purposefully separates the conversations to include both God and Jesus as she has always felt Jesus’ love but has resentment towards God for the circumstances of her life.
Through her journey she strives to make sense of who she is and how God factors into that and ultimately coming to a conclusion that is most acceptable to her. This memoir is at times fractured, however, the most interesting parts are the conversations between Ms. Isaacs, the therapist, God and Jesus. Those transcripts really illustrate her inner struggles to make sense and are just the right amount of angry to be entertaining. The stories surrounding those conversations add context to the person she is, her experiences and her background.
It was a good time to come across the book and while I haven’t had my own angry conversations with God – pleading does not count as conversation – it was a nice little shove from God.
